I turned 40 and honestly it still feels surreal to say it out loud. I do not feel 40. In my twenties, I thought of 40 as this distant stage of life where you are knee deep in kids and work with little space for anything else. And yes, I am in the thick of it with young kids and a new design business, but instead of feeling like things are winding down, I feel like I am just getting started.
This past year especially has been one for the books. We packed up and moved states. I was laid off from my corporate job. I went all in on my business which has been equal parts thrilling and terrifying. My kids started at new schools, made new friends, and found their own way while I was trying to do the same. It was a lot of change, but it also pushed me to take care of myself in ways I had not before. Mentally, physically, emotionally, all of it. And I think I really needed that reset.
I have been thinking a lot about what it means to be a woman in our generation. So many of us were told to be quiet, to take up less space, to soften our voices. I found my voice in my late twenties, but even then I heard “you are too much” more times than I can count. Those words used to sting, but now I see them as a reminder. If being too much means showing up fully for myself and for my kids who are watching, then I will gladly keep being too much.
I could probably write an entire book about what I have learned over the past four decades, but here is what has stuck with me most.
That other people’s opinions are none of my business. That mental health is something you have to take ownership of because no one else can do that for you. That waiting for the perfect time to follow your passion is just another way to hold yourself back. That choosing the right partner matters because the right one will cheer you on and let you be yourself fully. Throughout your life, friendships will come and go as you evolve, make sure you keep those around you that lift you up, make you feel safe and most importantly will give you the effort you put forth. That birthdays are worth celebrating no matter how old you are. And that travel is one of the greatest privileges of life. Every single flight I take I look out the window and whisper a little thank you.
So here I am at 40, looking ahead to a new decade. I want to keep building my business and growing my team. I want to push myself creatively and design spaces I have never designed before, maybe even internationally. I want to travel more. Japan, Australia, and a book retreat are at the top of my list. I want to keep prioritizing my health and keep evolving alongside my husband and kids as we grow together.
Forty does not feel like the end of anything. It feels like the beginning of a new chapter, one that I am stepping into with gratitude, excitement, and curiosity for what is to come.
Here’s to creating happy spaces and happy moments,
Rashmi